Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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