watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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