dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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