I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize