She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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