I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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