You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize