my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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