you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
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I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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