best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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