Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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