remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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