she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize