i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
tell me about the fingering
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