I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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