Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
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She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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