I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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