Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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