3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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