Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize