He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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