she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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