toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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