You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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