Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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