I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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