I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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