Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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