I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
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She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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