I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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