Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize