It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize