Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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