oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize