Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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