Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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