I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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