I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
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Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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