Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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