This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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