Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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