8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
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He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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