I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
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Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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