found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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