my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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