My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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