talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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