you have to choose: penises or morals?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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