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So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Randomize
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