i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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